Marieke’s Midwinter Blogfest

Here’s my entry in Marieke’s Midwinter Blogfest, told from the point of view of my main character, Verity, in FROM THE OTHER SIDE.

The idea is to describe what my MC does for Midwinter in less than 500 words. Must say, this was rather fun to write!

Hope you enjoy.

++

I used to love Christmas. Well, not just Christmas, the whole month of December really. Audrey and I would go shopping to buy presents, sometimes two, three, seven times. Slipping in the snow, throwing snowballs at each other, making snow angels on the way to our car. Mom and Dad were always so happy, holding hands, laughing, singing. We would decorate the tree together and drink way too much brandy-spiked egg-nog (Mom and Dad, not us, though we managed to scam a sip here and there).

But then things changed.

Dad died first, and Mom shacked up with Trav-the-loser. Then Mom died of cancer eighteen months ago, leaving Audrey and I alone and in the care of a man who hated us. Not as much as we hated him though.

When Audrey left me as well, Christmas stopped having any meaning for me. And now…

I guess there’s no point in Christmas when you’re a ghost. I don’t have time for it anyway. Places to visit, people to kill and all that. I watch as my target’s family laughs and sings and holds hands. The lounge room lights twinkle in the Christmas tree decorations and paint rainbows on the wall of the room. How pretty.

I make my move.

And cross another name off my list.

Merry Christmas.

++

I hope you found this little insight into Verity’s world entertaining.

Check out the other entries in Marieke’s blogfest here. There's still time to join if you want to have a go (the blogfest runs for three days), and there's a fantastic interview on Marieke's Musings and a critique prize up for grabs as well.

The Evolution of a Logline... (*please help*)

My logline has been through a number of changes over the last few months.

Pitch

It all started when I entered an agent pitch contest over on Market My Words. I was the joint winner of that contest (here's my post about it), and I received a fantastic query critique from the awesome Mary Kole. Here's the pitch I submitted for that contest:

When misfit Verity is brutally murdered by the boy she loves, she awakens to find herself filled with deadly new powers, uncontrollable rages, and an unquenchable desire for vengeance.

First Logline

Last week, I was lucky enough to be given a spot in Miss Snark's First Victim's Logline Critique (here). This is the logline I submitted for that critique:

When misfit Verity is brutally murdered by the boy she loves, she awakens to find herself filled with uncontrollable rages and an unquenchable desire for vengeance. And if she doesn’t find a way to harness her hatred and her deadly new powers---soon---she won’t be able to stop killing, not even the one person who may save her.

Revised Logline

I received some fantastic suggestions for amendments from the MSFV Critique session, and revised my logline to the following:

When misfit Verity is brutally murdered by the boy she loves, she becomes a ghost with telekinetic powers, the ability to burn her victims, and an unquenchable desire for vengeance. Her search for her killer and her increasing body-count stretch her sanity to the limits, and unless she can find a way to regain control of herself, more innocent people—including the one boy who can still see her—will die.

As you can see, this version gives a lot more detail about my plotline.

Current Logline

Based on your fantastic suggestions from this Logline Blogfest (thanks so much!), my logline now reads as follows:

When misfit Verity is brutally murdered by the boy she loves, she becomes a ghost with deadly new powers, the ability to burn her victims, and an unquenchable desire for vengeance. The search for her killer and an increasing body-count stretch her sanity to the limits, and unless she finds a way to regain control of herself, more innocent people—including the one person who can still see her—will die.

My New Challenge - Creating a Rockin' One-Sentence Pitch

What I'm trying to do now is shorten my two-sentence logline into a rockin' one-sentence pitch that gives more info than my first attempt. If I start again with my "older" one-sentence pitch, and add a few things, I get:

When misfit Verity becomes a ghost after being brutally murdered by the boy she loves, her deadly new powers and an unquenchable desire for vengeance lead to an increasing body-count—if she fails to regain control, more innocent people will die, including the one person with the power to save her from herself.

Hmm, what do you think???

If you want to have a squiz at some posts on loglines, check out here and here.

I'm taking part in Steena Holmes's Logline Contest, so check out the other entrants here. Don't join in ok - I want the prize for myself (*winks*). All right, all right, I'm only joking (*grins*).

Can't wait to hear what you think of my new logline and work-in-progress pitch.

Semi-Finalist, Never-ending Scene Blogfest (or cliffhanger--whatever) (woot!)

Well, I'm jumping up and down right now cause I've been chosen as a semi-finalist in Brenda Drake's Never-ending Scene Blogfest (or cliffhanger--whatever). Woot!!!

Here's my entry for those of you who haven't checked it out. AND, three of the Crusaders are in the semi-finals, Marieke, Rachel Morgan, and me. How cool is that!

Voting closes at 6am on Thursday, so pop on over, check out all the entries, and cast your votes. Can't wait to see who the winner and runner-ups are - there's prizes from C.A. Marshall on offer!!!

Never-ending Scene Blogfest (or cliffhanger---whatever) October 25-26

I'm participating in Brenda Drake's Never-ending Scene Blogfest (or cliffhanger---whatever) October 25-26. Check out the other entrants here.

The challenge in this blogfest is to write a new scene or post a scene from your current project that is no more than 500 words, which has a rocking cliffhanger (pun intended). The aim is to leave you hanging, craving more, and cursing my name for making you want to turn a page that isn't there. Easy peasy! Hmm.

Well, here it is, with a total of 455-words. A scene from the end of Chapter 1 of my current YA Horror work in progress, FROM THE OTHER SIDE. Those who participated in Elle Strauss's First Page Blog Fest may recognize the situation my main character, Verity, is currently in. Check out my first page here if you're interested. 

+++

I still couldn’t remember what had happened to me. I needed to jump to my feet and run. Run away from whatever---whoever---had caused my injuries.

I tried to command my muscles yet again, tried to force them into action. I didn’t even have the strength to move. It was all I could do just to keep sitting there, to stop myself from flopping over onto my side and...

Somebody snickered nearby. I jumped, shocked by the unexpected noise. From the silence in the cave I had thought the girl and I were alone. That they had left us lying here after doing…whatever. That I had plenty of time to force my body to move again.

I jerked around, using all my strength to do so. A boy of eighteen years or so watched the girl and me. He had a smile on his face and a look of excitement in his eyes.

I stared at him, as I struggled to accept he wasn’t going to help me. That he was one of my torturers.

The boy didn’t seem bothered that I was sitting up. He would know there was nowhere for me to go, nothing I could do. I was isolated, unable even to rely on the unconscious girl beside me for help. And the entrance to the cave was a long way away. I could see it over the boy’s shoulder now. I doubted I could even walk there, let alone run.

The boy’s eyes glittered in the candlelight. His expression---his smirk, his look of pride, his piercing gaze---reminded me of a serial killer I had seen on television. My skin crawled. A trick of the light, perhaps. I stared into his face, searching for a single shred of humanity.

“Help me,” I croaked. My mouth felt dry.

The boy didn’t respond.

“Please. Help.” Louder this time.

He was good-looking, even with the nasty-looking scratches on one cheek. I wondered who he was. I guessed the marks on his face came from the girl beside me. She had probably tried to fight him off; they looked freshly-made. I could picture that. I cheered the girl in my mind, even as I wondered whether I had fought as well. Why couldn’t I remember?

“Let us go. Please.”

It was no good. The boy turned away. Contempt and disdain were written clearly on every line of his body.

The boy looked familiar. There was something about him…

The tickle in my memory became a scratch.

Draven.

I finally remembered. The boy was called Draven.

He has another name as well. A normal, everyday name. That’s right, it was Erik. Erik Stabler.

I’d been in love with him for the last five years.

+++

Hope it's left you wanting more. I'd tell you what happens next, but where's the fun in that ;)

Although, while it's not actually part of my manuscript, I did write a little "alternate scene" for Erica and Christy's Take Your Main Character On A Date Blog Fest (check it out here if you're wanting to sneak in a peek and find out a little about what happens to Verity).

First Page Blog Fest

Today I’m participating in Elle Strauss’s First Page Blog Fest.

Here are the first 250-words from my YA Horror/Paranormal manuscript, FROM THE OTHER SIDE.

+++

When I woke, with a splitting headache and pain slashing through my body, things had changed. They had brought another victim.

I strained to see the girl through grainy eyes. My heart pounded, rocketing away in all directions in my too-tight chest. A drum solo emphasizing my frantic thoughts.

No. No. No.

The girl lay beside me, just out of reach. Battered. Bruised. Naked. Ragged patches of blood smeared parts of her body, shadowing the small of her back and defining the curve of her hip.

Wait…the shape of her body…it couldn’t be. Could it? My head felt like it was cemented to the ground, but I managed to lift it slightly. To see the girl better. I breathed a sigh of relief when my eyes came to rest on her matted dark hair. It was closer to mine in color than to Audrey’s bottle-blonde. I should’ve known better. My sister still lay in hospital, breathing through that awful tube shoved down her throat. There was no way this girl could be her.

She lay so still. I tried to reach toward her, tried to see if she was all right, but my own body refused my commands. My head collapsed back to the ground with a painful thud. I needed to rest.

My ragged breathing slowed. Softened. There was no other sound. The silence pressed down on me, growing louder and louder, echoing in my eardrums.

Time slithered away from me as I lay there. A giant hourglass poised in the air above my head. Waiting to fall and smash me to bits when the last grain of sand trickled through.

When will they return?

+++

Hope you all enjoyed reading, would love to hear what you think. I’m currently neck-deep in revisions for this manuscript, and plan to begin the submission process very soon.

To check out the other participants in this blog fest, click here.

Take Your Main Character On A Date Blog Fest

I looked around the crowded restaurant, searching yet again for a glimpse of Verity's black-dyed hair. She would be wearing her favorite dress, lacy and flowing, with black velvet material and purple ribbons. My favorite as well.

My eyes searched over and over again. Anything to avoid looking at my watch on the table. It glared up at me, reminding me with every tick that Verity was late.

Tick. I can't stand this.

Tick. I've already waited an hour. Should I wait some more? Everyone's staring at me. Is that pity in their eyes?

I love her so much.

Maybe if I'd told her how I feel about her...

Tick.

After another hour, I finally had to accept she wasn't coming. I beckoned the waiter and pushed my chair out from the table, trying not to take out my frustrations on the flimsy wood. It was then that I heard the murmur, travelling through the restaurant, gaining momentum as it pelted toward me.

"Did you hear?"

"What? What's happened?"

"Oh my God!"

"She's dead?"

"How..."

"Why...?"

"When...?"

I hovered, somewhere between sitting and standing, as my heart plummeted through my body and hit the ground with a smash. It was made of glass after all. So fragile. Shattered.

I knew, deep within every cell of my body, even before my mind understood the whispers. I would never see her again.

I could never tell her how much she meant to me.

"Verity." I whispered her name, not even sure whether anyone heard me.

Somehow, I managed to reach the street. I stood there, shoulders hunched, with no memory of how I'd made it through the restaurant. Had I crunched the pieces of my shattered heart as I walked?

A new round of whispers. No more, please.

It was the only thing people were talking about.

One word. Ringing in my ears. Getting louder and louder with each repetition. I couldn't shut it out. Couldn't stop it.

I jammed my hands over my ears. Squeezed my eyes tightly shut. But still the word found me, engraving itself deep into my brain. Screaming at me over and over again.

MURDERED.

She was only seventeen. And I'd never even kissed her.

+++

I've had so much fun writing this post. While not an actual excerpt from my manuscript FROM THE OTHER SIDE, it does give a little insight into Luke's feelings for Verity. Plus a tiny sneak peek into the plotline of my story (even if it does only touch about 1% of the surface!!!)

This blog fest was started over at Erica and Christy - great idea guys - so head over and check it out...